I’m away on holiday until the 13th February, so I’ll leave you with some tile humour.

Well, it may be humour!

More years ago than I care to remeber there was much talk of a new single all-powerful association to represent the UK tile trade.  Here Dr Grout shares some of his ‘initial thoughts’ on possible names for this important new body.

ADD            Association of Defunct Distributors

ARCE          Association of Retail Ceramic Enterprises

BRAG         British Rapid Adhesive Guild

CAT            Council of Ambitious Tilers

COC            Ceramics Only Club

CUTE          Ceramic and Unglazed Tiling Empire

DEBT          Distinguished Employers of British Tilers

GITS            Guild of Industrial Tile Specifiers

GROUT       General Register of Unemployed Tilers

MAT            Midgets Against Tiling

MUG           Members of the Unglazed Guild

NIT               Network of Incompetent Tilers

RAGBAG     Royal Association of Great British  Adhesive and Grout Manufacturers

SCRAP         Society of Ceramic Retailers and P45s

SCUM          Society for the Collection of Unfinished Mosaics

SLOT            Salesmen-Led Organisation of Tilers

STOC           Society of Tiles from Overseas Companies

TAB             Trade Association of Backbiters

TAG            Tile, Adhesive & Grout

TALL           Tile Association (Limited Liability)

TDAW        Tilers Do It Against A Wall

TDDF          Tilers Do It On The Floor

TITS             Tile Industry Trade Society

and, finally …

CTA    The Crazed Tile Association

… who knows!

With thanks to Dr Grout AKA Tony Hyde

Joe Simpson, Diary of a Tile Addict, February 2017