Tiling Thesaurus: F

I’m away on holiday until the 13th February, so I’ll leave you with some tile humour.

Well, it may be humour!

Fair:
Spanish or Italian exhibition where British distributors can order newly discontinued tiles while getting pissed and improving their golf handicap.

Failure:
Nothing to do with me. See Architect, Agent, Distributor, Fixer and Manufacturer.

Flexible:
Term used to describe written quotation produced by any tile fixer or an expensive additive that is mixed with standard adhesive and grout to ensure its perfect adhesion to the mixing bucket.

Fixer:
Now officially an alien species, they have remarkable powers enabling them to disappear at a moments notice, especially on site. They also have amazing strength, being able to carry at least 5kg of adhesive at all times … on their trousers.

With thanks to Dr Grout AKA Tony Hyde

Diary of a Tile Addict January/February 2017

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