I’m away on holiday until the 13th February, so I’ll leave you with some tile humour.

Well, it may be humour!

Ecu:
Form of currency used in the Brussels’ edition of Monopoly.

Emu:
Long legged chickens reared by farmers keen to maximise grant awards from Common Agricultural Policy.

Encaustic:
Obsolete term used to describe site foreman’s sense of humour. Standard tiling specification for all building projects with Millennium or Lottery funding.

Epoxy:
Tilers method of voting. Standard adjective used to describe warehouse computer system. Chemical invention by pharmaceutical companies to boost sales of soothing ointments.

Euro:
A currency invented by foreigners and, as far as the UK is concerned, only to be used by foreigners. See Ecu and Emu.

Excuse:
See Distributor.

Expansion Joints:
Rubber strips designed to increase contract value, originally intended to reduce the amount of grout needed when laying floor tiles.

Export:
Are you kidding?

With thanks to Dr Grout  AKA Tony Hyde