Novoceram’s Naughty Nightcrawler

In Novoceram animated Gifs to promote the new Jasper range, a thief, picked up by CCTV cameras, prefers to steal Jasper Malt, Ivoire and Gris tiles, rather than other precious items nearby, such as a chest full of jewels, a precious painted masterpiece or the content of a restaurant’s cash register. Continue reading Novoceram’s Naughty Nightcrawler

Tile Humour: Guilt By Association

I’m away on holiday until the 13th February, so I’ll leave you with some tile humour. Well, it may be humour! More years ago than I care to remeber there was much talk of a new single all-powerful association to represent the UK tile trade.  Here Dr Grout shares some of his ‘initial thoughts’ on possible names for this important new body. ADD            Association of … Continue reading Tile Humour: Guilt By Association

Tiling Thesaurus: T – W

I’m away on holiday until the 13th February, so I’ll leave you with some tile humour. Well, it may be humour! Taco: How floor tile manufacturers to dispose of their off-cuts. Thick bed: Fixing technique invented by adhesive manufacturers. Thin set: Fixing technique designed to keep costs down, and prices up. Tools: Hardware designed to make the public believe tiling is far more complicated than … Continue reading Tiling Thesaurus: T – W

Tiling Thesaurus: Q – S

I’m away on holiday until the 13th February, so I’ll leave you with some tile humour. Well, it may be humour! Quality: Obsolete. Term once used by a handful of manufacturers, now superseded by “acceptable”. Quantity: Number of tiles required as calculated independently by customer and fixer. It is standard industry practice for retailers to take larger figure (fixer’s) and add 25%. Quantity surveyor: End … Continue reading Tiling Thesaurus: Q – S

Tiling Thesaurus: M – P

I’m away on holiday until the 13th February, so I’ll leave you with some tile humour. Well, it may be humour! Majolica: I thought I was going on holiday, but I ended up in another dusty tile factory. Mohs: In the scale of things, very important. In reality, totally ignored by one and all. Mosaic: The perfect opportunity to get rid of all those dust-covered … Continue reading Tiling Thesaurus: M – P

Tiling Thesaurus: J – L

I’m away on holiday until the 13th February, so I’ll leave you with some tile humour. Well, it may be humour! Joint: Gap left between tiles. Following development of a new European standard, this gap has been standardised to be “never less than a bit” and “never more than a lot.” Kiln: Cooking appliance capable of producing 3000 pizzas per hour. Klinker: Continental word which … Continue reading Tiling Thesaurus: J – L